For all the beauty in the world

The smell of ocean-salt air. A blush-pink cherry blossom. The intimacy of an earnest embrace. For all the beauty in the world, why is happiness so elusive?

Maybe because beauty too easily escapes my notice. These days, I'm washing dishes, feeding the baby, looking for keys, losing my wallet. I wonder why life is so mundane, repetitive and, at times, so grey. Yet, when I was an editor living in a cubicle and atrophying in gridlocked traffic for hours at a time, life wasn't exactly paradise either.

So I ask myself: Why can't I ever be happy? (And my childish Sunday School voice whines, "Aren't Christians supposed to be happy?")

I know it, but I don't like to admit it. I'm the Prodigal Son. I'm the one trying to fill the holes in my soul with everything but God. I'm living my life as I want, and yet, it hasn't turned out to be the kind of life I want.

Amazingly, the answer to this has been sitting in front of me all this time, farting in his high chair and leaving gifts for me in his diaper. It's Coram, my sweet and precious baby, whose name refers to the theological term, Coram Deo, because we hope he'd be inspired to live a life in keeping with his name. Turns out, his name was also meant to show me how to live mine.

As R.C. Sproul puts it,

Coram Deo captures the essence of the Christian life. This phrase literally refers to something that takes place in the presence of, or before the face of, God. To live Coram Deo is to live one's entire life in the presence of God, under the authority of God, to the glory of God. (Ligonier.com)

That said, life as a scullery-maid-mom or office drone may be mundane, but I cling to the hope that submitting every part of my life before this wild and extravagant God, no matter how small or everyday, will bring Beauty back into my life. And I'm not just talking about "yeah that's nice," small 'B' beauty. I'm talking about capital 'B' Beauty, looking at the world through God's immense love for me and for the world.

For what good is all the beauty in the world if we can't see God's glory in it?